quilt-like pattern, image by H G, on Pixabay, modified
Poems to God
No. 10
Knowing that You know it all,
I’ve been soul-clobbered
by icy asteroids of atheism
& recurrent doubts
descending from my mind
in tandem with death’s
chorus of silent screams,
ambiguous decades
of gnarled longing
for Your real presence
unleashed & mysterious
in an innocence
beyond my tepid soul.
Now simply an aging poet
of such eccentric solitude,
I search for intimations
of You among the debris &
obscure beauty of my life,
kindling to fire my soul
always aching for You alone.
*
Poems to God
No. 12
Before I kick the bucket
meet the old grim reaper
ride the pale horse &
die as an act of worship,
from a crucible mixed
with loneliness & wonder
I consecrate to You all
my unwritten poems
forgotten memories
mystical imagination
unlived, mythical loves.
Before I descend into dirt
& ascend Your mountain,
from a whirlpool swirling
with anxieties & prayer,
I confess to You all
doors left unopened
fears of rejection
wisdom scorned
roads not taken.
*
Poems to God
No. 13
For tens of thousands of days
pulsing & breathing on earth
through a bizarre biography
from mountains to the sea,
detours through infernos
& glimpses of bloody beauty
on mysterious desert nights
with moonlight hinting
at latent eternities of life,
for suffered love vagaries
& imagined times of dancing,
among memories
& reels of coming attractions
as pelicans skim over waters,
for the years lost to fears &
the vision of a silent Christ
waiting for my soul to be still,
the massive solitude of aging
among fiery flowers of death,
a subtle hearty grazie di tutto.
__________________________
Alan Altany has BA & MA degrees in Catholic theology, and a Ph. D. in religious studies (University of Pittsburgh). After an academic career, he is a semi-retired, septuagenarian professor of Comparative Religions at a small college in Florida, USA. He has also been the founder & editor of a small magazine of poetry (The Beggar’s Bowl), a high school teacher, university professor, factory and lawn maintenance worker, hotel clerk, novelist, delivery truck driver, runner, etc. He’s published three books of poetry: A Beautiful Absurdity (2022), The Greatest Longing (2023), and Intimations (2024). His poetry has been published by Tipton Poetry Journal, Beltway Poetry Quarterly, Valley Voices,
Sand Hill Literary Magazine, The Hong Kong Review, North Dakota Quarterly, Montreal Review, and others.
He writes with the steadfast support of his golden retriever, Zeke. Website: https://www.alanaltany.com/.
February 2025 issue
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